clothes cairns

a cairn is used to mark a path. they're landmarks. out in the desert (and i'm sure other places too) we use these stone cairns to mark the way to good places on trails, to show the best place to ford a river or stream, to show that we've been there and sometimes just to play and be pretty. cairns are a semi-universal symbol of finding your way, marking your place. in history these conical stone piles were used to mark graves.

my cairns aren't made of stone. instead they're sewn from clothes of mine that either don't fit anymore or never fit right to begin with. i'm trying to take the viewer on a journey of the struggles i've had with my weight and with finding clothes that fit my body type. it's something that most women and a lot of men can relate to. i'm constantly trying to catch up with myself. my mental idea of who i am doesn't always fit the way i might be presented to other people.

i think these cairns are probably going to get the most reaction tomorrow in thesis. at least thats what i'm hoping for. i've stalled out mentally on my eye shapes. i don't really know for sure what they mean anymore and i'm not sure they're saying what i wanted them to mean in the first place. i don't what to completely abandon them because i do feel a connection. i might have to leave them for a couple of weeks or a month and focus on these cairns and where they might take me. maybe then i can come back to the eye shapes feeling fresh again.

i might have more little doodles from this red notebook. i'm storing my life and my thoughts in it so there's always more weirdness to dissect.